If you're in a rush and this is too long, here are the key details:
1. We have to be at Mayo by 5:30AM (that's 10:30PM Thursday Saipan time- so surgery will most like be when you all are sleeping in Saipan :)). Not sure yet what time exactly they will start cutting me, but probably within the next two hours after then, I'm assuming.
2. I will have a family member update this blog with details as I am in surgery and hospitalized so everyone will stay in the loop. I will NOT have my cell phone with me. Please don't try to reach my family members too much, but rather just check this blog for updates. I know they will be anxious themselves and can only answer so many. Don't get me wrong, we TRULY APPRECIATE all the reaching out and we want it, but probably best until after I'm alive and well after surgery :) Thank you and we love you all!
3. I'll have whoever is updating my blog also provide info re the amount of time I will be hospitalized and whether I can have any visitors etc. We are still not sure right now. I'll probably give my cousin my cell phone in case anyone really wants to reach HER on it- lol! :)
4. I'm too damn busy trying to stay disinfected and clean and separation anxiety from my Rafiki to be any kind of scared right now about the surgery-- so that's a good thing! lol!
5. THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of you who have been texting me, emailing me, facebook messaging me, or asking me to call you today--- I AM SO SORRY I HAVE NOT RETURNED ONE CALL OR MESSAGE TODAY, but I did receive them all and I hope to respond after surgery as time has just slipped away from me today (it'll be tomorrow already in less than an hour- probably before I finish this blog-and I'm here blogging EXHAUSTED because I appreciate you all so much and HAVE TO let you know I received everything but could not get back to anyone, so I hope this blog suffices for now.
Today was HECTIC. I did nothing fun (except for being with my family during all the chaos of the day). We spent ALL DAY CLEANING and trying to get things in order. I spent a few hours at the laundry mat washing the couch covers and my bedroom pillows. Thankfully, I had the pleasure of at least spending that time with my niece Anisa who helped me at the laundry mat. She's a blessing! Dad spent most of the day shampooing my bedroom carpet and moving furniture and Clare helped all day too. Mom was set on cleaning all the couches and living rooms and keeping the dogs separated from the rest of the house since we got all the fur under control and out of my room and the rest of the house. Clare also helped watch and keep the kids entertained. Thankfully, Joseph bonded a lot with her and her kids and he is now spending the night at their house so that my parents can both come with me to the hospital tomorrow (in a few hours really). Mom mopped and vacuumed and swept and dusted and basically cloroxed everything she could get her hands on- lol! Remember, she has rheumatoid arthritis and so this is not an easy task, but she does it all with determination and NEVER one complaint. Mom and Dad are in their early sixties, but they have been so amazing doing everything physical around the house-- I'm so bad and spoiled. It's like I'm the sixty year old with my bad back. My back has been killing me, and I cannot take ibuprofen or anything because of surgery (been off any drugs for over 2 weeks now and bearing the back pain unhappily). Anyway, we accomplished alot, but before I knew it, it was 10pm already! crap! and *sigh*
Mayo clinic attempted calling me after 1pm and I was thoroughly irritated and not a pleasant person to speak with because I was at the laundry mat and I was feeling anxious with everything we had to get done. Plus my back hurt. She didn't help things telling me I shouldn't drink alcohol today, because I specifically called yesterday and asked the hospital and they had no restrictions besides not to eat or drink anything after midnight-- now I find out I cannot drink alcohol. I have been drinking at least one beer every night since dad arrived and stocks the place with all kinds of beers to sample- lol! I'm not gonna lie, I was looking forward to downing a few today but it wouldn't have happened anyway because we were too busy. I still was grumpy about it. I was not a good person to speak with and so she just said I would handle all that questioning crap that I have answered over a hundred times already tomorrow again at the hospital. I agreed to not deal with it today and just received her information about not eating after midnight, no alcohol, wearing comfortable clothing, no lotion, no jewelry no makeup, no perfume, no nothing basically. Anyway, later, my parents and I eventually did the practice drive to the hospital. All my appointments had previously been at the Mayo clinic on Shea and 134th street. The surgery, however, is going to be at Mayo on the 101 and 56th street. Clare helped us by staying home and keeping the kids busy, while we drove to the hospital. We find it and the parking lot, and we drive back home. We now feel better about it. This was at around 7pm-- the day was passing us by. We have done nothing fun- only errands (buying dog food and doing laundry) and cleaning the house and segregating the dogs.
Earlier I called the telephone number I was told to call after 4pm today and that's when I got the message that I am suppose to check it at 5:30 AM. Crap! That's EARLY. Anyway, the doctor also told me at my last appointment to wash my body with hibiclens tonight and then again tomorrow morning before I head to the hospital. So today was my hibiclens day.
I showered and washed myself basically in disinfectant- lol! I can't wear lotion or deordorant, and so I'm like a dry skinned can get body odor any second grumpy person missing my poor Rafiki who is barking in the back room, because there's a dog gate preventing him and Roxy from coming to the rest of the house :( Poor boy. It is for the best, however, I CANNOT afford risking an infection by the germs they would bring to my room. My dad "repaired" an old dog gate I had attempted to use when Casper was alive a few years ago, but Casper destroyed part of the gate. My dad made his repair with rope you can see in the bottom right corner. Dad can fix everything!! :)
I feel so loved and blessed and positive. I am in a good place, largely because of all of the support from EVERYONE! I am truly truly humbled and so so so grateful. My uncle in Saipan who limits his drive to the post office because gas is almost $6 a gallon is driving to every church on the island and lighting a candle for me. My other uncle in Saipan who never goes to church is attending mass at the churches where my parents other friends are giving mass for me. Multiple heart-warming and encouraging stories like this make me feel so incredibly loved and grateful for everyone in our lives. I say OUR because this is a family affair. I've learned that breast cancer is not simply a one woman ordeal-- it is a family ordeal and it reaches everyone. How lucky I am to also have parents who have brought wonderful amazing people to my life, and they have all reached out and are supporting me (my "auntys" and "uncles" Angie & Orson, Carolyn, Maggie (both), Takeo, Martha, Bob & Lynn (sunny), Grace & Lang, Nina Juanita, Anicia & Tom, Claudia & Ted to name a few); I also am so grateful for my CKDQ family; my Bahamian family; my law school family; my facebook family; my Arizona family; my college family; my GCA family; my MHS family; my South African family-- the list goes on and on. I have prayers being said around the clock with the drastic time zones of all the people who have touched my life directly or indirectly. I felt it today. For all the Chamorro superstitious people, I felt it especially around 12pm today when I scratched my left leg til it bled on my bedroom furniture when it was disassembled to put everything in place. Tin, I'm blaming that one on you-- so maybe it's Filipino in California with Chamorro background-- please stop missing me-- I can't afford any more injuries! lolol! Ahh, if you don't get it everyone else, no worries :) I promise to eventually make time to respond to each of you that have written to me today when I am able to. It might be later, but it will happen. Just don't write back after, so I don't have to write back again - lolol! ha!ha!ha! KIDDING! My deepest gratitude and love to all!! SMILE and LAUGH today so I can feel all your joy during surgery and recovery. I think I look a mess in this picture, but you know it's funny when you crack yourself up. Naomi snapped this picture of me and Joseph as he placed stickers on my face the other night while I was blogging and she and Joseph were in my room. Remember me this way--- ridiculously LOUD laughter and as someone dear to me once described my laughter as "unhindered joy"! Can't wait to laugh with you all soon!
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