10/02/2012- I've got Mayo mail

My letter from Mayo clinic today.  This is about my right breast (the one NOT diagnosed with cancer (although apparently might have it too).  This was my second mammogram on my right breast only, less than 2 months from my initial mammogram that revealed cancer in my left breast.  This reassures me that I'm making the right decision getting a double/bilateral mastectomy.  The never knowing, and having to go through this again is not worth keeping my breasts.  I've discovered that those women in my life who have gone through lumpectomy and mastectomy (Fabiola and Caroline) have given me their full support.  They did not have the options I have now before me when it was them in my position.  I have thought about this every which way back and forth, and I cannot be convinced otherwise.  I don't even know why I'm blogging this as if to get the approval of everyone.  I realize this is hard for some of you to understand, but it's not for you to understand.  I have to do what is best for me, and believe me when I say I did not come to this decision easily or without serious thought and internal debate....

Common side effects of Tamoxifen (what I would have to be on for 5 years if I just got a lumpectomy just to lower my risk of recurrence and not remove it completely):  hot flashes or night sweats, nausea, irregular periods in women prior to menopause, vaginal discharge, vaginal itching, dryness or irritation.  Less frequent symptoms include depression, loss of appetite, eye problems such as cataracts, headache, and weight gain.  There also can be an increased risk of blood clots, strokes and uterine cancers such as endometrial cancer.  I also am not suppose to get pregnant during these 5 years.  I have the option to avoid this and be done with breast cancer's never ending gift of side effects.  This doesn't include the side effects and time consuming radiation therapy I am also avoiding with a double mastectomy.  Some feel this is too radical for an early diagnosis-- I, on the other hand, feel it is radical not to do it at this early stage, and radical that many women in my position are not made aware of this option by their health providers.  Again, I am lucky, because I got a second opinion and did not just go with the typical status quo.  I feel the pain of my friends who weren't given this option and are now living with these unknowns.  They are strong beautiful women who inspire me and whose support have meant the most, because they were here before me.

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” 
― Nora Ephron