9/14/2012- Enjoy your weekend- I plan to enjoy mine :)

September 14, 2012- Friday

Hi Everyone J

First, please do not feel UNspecial or offended that you are part of a GROUP email, rather than a personal one directly from me.  I could write one generic one and send it off individually, but I’m a little lazy right now.  If you are feeling upset, remember I have cancer –ha!ha! AND my parents are one of the recipients, so you have to be special to be on this list.  I tried to include everyone that has expressed concern, and I promised to keep updated.  If you’re not familiar with my tone, I am very sarcastic and really find myself quite hilarious.  I’ve been told by a few of you that I am, but that could be cancer sympathy laughter—if it is, don’t tell me- I like to keep thinking I’m really hilarious- ha!ha!   

Today was my first cancer consult at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA).  Security walks me in to the new patient check in area and then I am brought back to the “financial assistant” person where I sign my life away re privacy notices and payments and insurance etc.  BTW, Naomi, you are my emergency contact for now and my designated decision maker should I somehow lose impairment to make decisions (not going to happen, but you and I should talk to let you know where I stand on some things—mom, don’t be offended, I’ll change it when you get here- ha!ha!).  An awesome thing they have is also a living will which I will need to complete before surgery and I’m still seriously thinking about who to designate for those issues.  I felt a little scammed for a second when David (the financial guy) told me that CTCA is OUT OF NETWORK with my insurance.  I didn’t understand it, because it was a condition of the appointment that my insurance would apply.  Long story not so long, CTCA assures me that it will all be handled and when it’s not in network, CTCA bills as if they were so there should be no problem.  Hmmm… Skeptical lawyer in me still unsure, but they were very convincing, so we shall see..  But that’s point one for Mayo, because Mayo for sure is in my network. 

I’m walked back to a patient windowless examination room.  There’s a mini whiteboard outside with my initials and all the people I’m about to meet.  The nurse, Yvonne, takes my vitals.  She also takes my urine which I’ve done before, but this was a whole new experience.  It’s a box with a cup with disposable parts and special cap and wipes and two pages of directions illustrated for men and women—ok, I’ll spare the TMI moments here—I’ve probably already crossed that line- sorry!  Height and weight taken in kilograms—WTH?  I thought to myself- isn’t this the cancer treatment centers of AMERICA and not Britain? When did we switch from LB to KG?  ha!ha! By the way, this nurse has been here for over 2 years from Chicago, and has NEVER been to Scottsdale!  I might have to invite her over one day J  Anyway, she was great—then patient advocate, Jessica, comes in and she had this fancy smancy (might even be real leather!) binder with business cards and loads of information.  First treat!  The binder is mine to take and keep, and with each person who comes in to see me in my box, I mean room, they insert his/her business card in one of the sleeves in the binder.  They were very helpful. I’ve attached a couple pics of this awesome giveaway for your enjoyment as well- ha!ha!  I also got a great lapel pink ribbon breast cancer pinJ Yay, giveaways!  

Finally, something substantive beyond orientation—after 1pm, I get to see the “intake doctor.”  (I’m also STARVING by now!). Well, it’s my lucky day, the intake doctor has another doctor with him who is new and so he is training with the main intake doctor.  They are both awesome.  One was a gynecologist (the main intake older doctor) and the newer one was a general practice physician.  The intake doctor does an exam and prepares I guess a report before seeing the surgical oncologist and the regular oncologist.  They ask AGAIN almost all the same questions I had already answered over the phone a couple days ago, and just verify everything.  They discuss my records with me and the ladies here know when a woman is being examined by a male doctor, we get to be observed in our most exposed moments by another human being—a female nurse (standard practice), but MY LUCKY DAY—I not only had two people watching as one was feeling my breasts and examining me, I got THREE strangers doing that—the doctor doing the examination in training, the main older doctor watching and training him, and the nurse who awkwardly stands like a soldier watching this all take place.  The older doctor was sitting trying to talk to me as I’m being examined but also avoid looking at me—I don’t know how I did not just laugh out loud at that moment.  It was like I was on a sitcom- ha!ha!  Pretty funny stuff those awkward slightly uncomfortable moments that are only uncomfortable because you can tell everyone else is uncomfortable- ha!ha!  Finally, it is all done. 

I’m thinking I can go grab some food to eat now, but no, I have the patient therapist or something like that to meet still.  He’s a whole other character.  His services are free, but I have to just make an appointment through scheduling.  He’s an older man with a giant sticker on his suit jacket that says, “I made $500 today, ask me how.”  Crap!  Now that I think about it, I forgot to ask him how!!!!!! Ugh! So mad at myself! Lol!  He walks in with a surprised look on his face, “are you Lynn?” I reach out my hand and say “yes, the last time I checked.”  Ha!ha!  I thought I was funny- lol! He said he wasn’t sure if I might have been accompanying Lynn.  I think the bright pink walmart kool-aid smiley face t-shirt I was wearing might have thrown him off too- ha!ha!  I thought about that this morning, what should I wear to a cancer center?  Bright pink kool-aid smiley face was it!  Some of you know this shirtJ 

Anyway, he made me cry a little having to talk about stresses and all that fun mental stuff, but it was good and he was a nice therapist, I guess J lol! Finally, I’m thinking, I am out of here—but nope. I have to meet a Scheduler (crap! Forgot his name but he was missing a tooth).  I made the Scheduler laugh out loud as he was walking me out.  I felt a little bad later, because a lot of the people there appear very solemn and sad (which I understand because their cancers are probably less hopeful than mine, so I felt bad for laughing a lot, but then I felt better later, because I have cancer too—I can laugh! Lol! BUT hopefully, I did not annoy too many people with cancer or their loved ones- yikes!).  I made him laugh because he was the second person working there to ask me “so, what brought you here?”  I said “cancer.”  Then I told him, he was the second person to ask me that and I think it’s a weird question, I’m here for DUH! Cancer- this is the cancer treatment center- I told him I should have answered him “hemorrhoids” and he burst out laughing so hard—it was a good moment—I’m really quite hilarious, people- ha!ha!

The scheduler tried to schedule me for a full Monday and Tuesday and Thursday.  I told him we need to rewind.  I just really want to see the surgeon and oncologist who will tell me my treatment plan options.  We looked at the “itinerary” together and I said, I can do without the “pastor spiritual meeting” (God bless em, but I’m thankfully not at that stage and even if I was, I would probably go back to practicing Catholicism again and find my own priestJ).  They had a nutritionist and homeopathic and etc etc for the entire Monday morning.  I told him I appreciate all of that and if I chose CTCA for my treatment, I will look further into those things but for now I know they have them and I just want the surgeon already.  I got him to budge so I can make it to work Monday morning and then go that afternoon for the first surgeon meeting, and Tuesday with Oncologist and treatment plan FINALLY.  So basically, today was good progress, but SLOW progress.  There’s nothing really substantive to report, but more mental treatment of how it all works and what to expect etc.  I will have treatment plan options given to me Tuesday.  Then the following week on DGD’s bday the 25^th, I have my appointment with the MAYO clinic where I anticipate my treatment options will be given that same day as they are reviewing my records and information right now before that appointment (Thank God!).  

Mom and Dad, I have no idea what the schedule of a surgeon looks like, so I will make a decision after the 25^thregarding my options and then you guys can fly out after I know my treatment options and surgery date options.  Apparently, cancer cells of this type double every 100 days or so—who knew????  It is scary to think about if I did not have a diligent gyno exam to refer me for a mammogram on the non-cancerous breast that found cancer on the other breast which could only be seen through a mammogram.  I think there wasn’t even a lump yet, so I am way good.  If I waited until 40 for a first mammogram practically 7 years later—I probably would not be laughing so much…I have the best diagnosis as far as cancer ever being good is concerned- lol! I am blessed because I will be fine although the process is a little inconvenient, just a LITTLE- lol!  The good thing about early breast cancer is there are no symptoms- so I am fine.  At this stage, it’s mostly mental and dealing with that whole aspect that gets me.  “Cancer” is a very powerful word, and people have given me different reactions—all good, but different.  I should journal the reactions – it makes for some good jokes! Ha!ha!

I will end this finally with a short story that I posted on my facebook page (so apologies to my fb friends here who already read it).  This shows the ESL (English as a second language) side of me (which is an excuse I love to use even though I know English better than Chamorro-lol!).  Hope it gives you a laugh the way it did me and the patient advocate today.  

  

Patient advocate (PA): “We have a nail and hair salon (you get 50% off for being a patient), massage therapists, and the 5th floor is where our rooftop garden is and we have misters there too.”

Me: dumbfounded look- “Mr.'s?”

PA: “yes, misters.”

Me: “Oh! You mean water misters. I thought you meant men! Lol!”

PA: “lol! We try to be ‘full service’ but no men on the 5th floor-lol!”

She said no one has ever thought that before, and I made her day because we couldn’t stop laughing! Ha!ha!ha!

Imagine!  Wouldn’t that be something, get cancer, go to CTCA for treatment and get a man on the roof too! Ha!ha!!! They really do everything to reduce stress!

Goodnight everyone!  Enjoy your weekend and life, because I’m enjoying mine.  Mom, seriously, please reduce your worrying J  Uncle Nick, same to Aunty Del.  love to all!

Final sidenote: Prayers for those and their families that we lost abroad in the U.S. Embassy attacks *sigh*  I’m blessed, proud, and grateful to be an American…